Can My Marriage Be Saved?

| October 22, 2012 | 0 Comments

Can my marriage be saved? This is a question frequently asked by couples trying to avoid divorce. The answer is yes it can be saved, but you may need to put in a lot of work before things become better between you.

Firstly all marriages will go through difficult times.┬áIt’s normal to have disagreements as you will both have your own ideas and opinions.

In fact it’s healthy to have your own ideas and not continually agree with everything your partner says and does.

Just like anything else in life, a marriage has to be worked at. Letting things slide because you can’t be bothered to make the effort, or don’t have the time to do anything about it can lead to much bigger problems in the future. For example if your husband rarely does any work around the house this could make you feel resentful if you are at work all day and then have start doing cleaning when you get home. If your wife doesn’t seem to listen to you and you feel that you are drifting apart, then ignoring it can only make the situation worse.

Communication is vital

If you want to save your marriage you need to communicate with each other. Good communication helps to avoid misunderstandings, and clears up any potential problems before they become major issues. Good communication also allows you to let your partner know how you feel without making them feel they are to blame in any way. If you find it hard to express yourself freely then you need to learn how to do this. However there is one point to mention.

There are several reasons for this. The first is that your partner is very insecure and has low self esteem. The other is that you may have put the blame on him or her so many times that no matter how you express yourself, they still feel that they are being blamed or made to feel stupid.

Even if you are getting your point across without resorting to arguing or losing your temper, your partner may still get defensive and hear recrimination and blame in your words.

If the first reason is the case then you need to work on boosting their self esteem. Give lots of praise and encouragement in whatever they want to do and achieve. Even very small successes should be celebrated. If the latter is true and you are guilty of blaming your partner for almost everything that goes wrong then it will take time for them to see you in a new light.

Compromise

Compromise is one of the key points to making a marriage work. Sometimes you have to meet in the middle. Being flexible in nature and able to accept change is a plus point in any relationship. For example you may want a two week vacation, but your partner wants to spend the money on something more practical. You could reach a compromise by just having a few days away somewhere and still have money left over. You may have the offer of a new job that means moving away to another area.

If your wife or husband is reluctant to move then you have reach some kind of compromise. You may decide to commute every day to your new job, or you may decide to stay there for a few days each week, and enjoy long weekends with your partner when you return.

Alternatively you may decide just to get a job nearer to home. The main thing is that you are able to discuss these issues without always believing that you’re in the right and that your partner has to accept your decision. If you find that hard to do, try and see things from your partner’s point of view.

Don’t bury your head in the sand

If you sense that something isn’t right between you both, you must take action immediately. Failure to do so can put you on the road to divorce.. One of the main problems in life is that there is so much to do and not enough hours in the day. Modern life pulls us in lots of different areas, and you may be so busy trying to please your boss, your parents, and your friends that your partner may get forgotten. This is usually not intentional but after some years of living together you can end up taking each other for granted. The love is still there but you can’t have a successful marriage unless you appreciate each other and show this on a regular basis.

Little gestures such as buying a bunch of flowers for your wife, or cooking your partner a meal, can go a long way in showing them how much you care. It’s the little things that count in a relationship, and doing something small each day will make a huge difference.

If you know you are guilty of taking your partner for granted start doing something about it today. It’s easier to save your marriage as soon as you pick up that things aren’t right, rather than leave it until it reaches crisis point.

Don’t neglect your sex life.

Frustrations and pressures in life can have an impact on your sex, life. At the start of your marriage everything was great, however making love can become a distant memory. Making quality time for each other is essential, and can help you recapture the magic in your marriage. Sex alone won’t sustain a relationship if you have nothing else in common, however it is an important factor in a marriage and is the glue that can hold you together.

So if you are asking “can my marriage be saved?” the answer is yes in many cases. However if things have got so bad between you that there is no chance of a reconciliation then you may have to consider divorce. This should always be the last resort though, and seeking marriage counselling is something you need to consider.

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