Should You Contact Your Ex?

| January 13, 2013 | 0 Comments

should you contact your ex by phoneIf you are hurting after a break up you may be asking “should I contact my ex?” In the majority of cases unless you did something really bad I would say wait at least a few weeks.

It’s very tempting after you have been dumped by your boyfriend or girlfriend to chase after him or her and apologise for your behaviour. Unfortunately all this will do is to push your ex further away.

Take time to think about the relationship

It’s important that you spend the next few days and weeks evaluating the relationship and deciding if you really want to save it. Think about what led up to the break. Sometimes it’s not just one thing that causes a split but multiple things over time.

What if my ex contacts me?

During this time even if your ex texts you, or emails you don’t be tempted to respond straight away. You really do need some time away from the relationship to sort out things in your head. It will be very hard not to respond to his texts immediately, especially if he changes his mind and decides he can’t live without you. However by showing him that you aren’t needy or desperate then you will create even more desire in him for you.

text your exWrite down all the plus points of getting back together and then all the negative points. For example do you still love him or her? Why do you want to get back with your ex? Is it because you don’t want to be on your own? Is it because you worry what your friends will think? Sometimes couples stay together out of habit and are afraid of change. We all are creatures of habit, and often prefer to settle for something comfortable and safe rather than face up to problems in a relationship.

So when should you get back in touch?

So when should you contact your ex? If he has been frantically texting you, or leaving messages on your voicemail, and you have decided you really do love him, then call him or text him after about a week. That is enough time for him to get really worried in case he has lost you for good. It’s also enough time for you to come to a decision. Be aware though that even if you still love each other you will need to discuss why you broke up. Just getting back together as if nothing has happened isn’t a good idea.

What if I was to blame and he still won’t talk to me?

girl gets boyIf you did something really bad like cheated on your ex, then it may take a long time for him or her to trust you again. Understandably your ex will be hurting and feeling betrayed. In this case if your ex won’t talk to you and cuts you off then don’t push it. Leave things and wait for your ex to contact you. If there is no response then there isn’t an awful lot you can do. If he or she still has feelings for you then they may start to miss you after some weeks or months. A memory may trigger something off that reminds your ex of you and the good times you had together. Don’t sit at home waiting by the phone though!

What if I see my ex out with someone else?

If you happen to bump into your ex and their new partner should you stop and make conversation? If you aren’t over the break up and still feel very hurt and in a lot of emotional pain then the best thing is to say hi to them but don’t hang around. This will only make you feel worse and you won’t gain anything by it. It’s possible that this new relationship is a rebound one, and many of these fail. Just be patient and don’t be tempted to contact your ex later and ask questions. You may be surprised and get a phone call or text to say they have split up. If this happens just be supportive without putting any pressure on your ex. If you frantically call or text your ex begging him to leave her and get back with you, you are pushing him or her into the arms of this their new sweetheart.

Your ex may be thinking of ways to get you back.

If you have followed my advice and not been so eager to contact your ex then there is a chance that he or she is missing you and thinking of ways to get you back in their life. Of course this isn’t guaranteed to work, but it will if your ex still has some feeling for you.

Work on yourself

attractive mature womanBe patient and instead of focusing on how hurt and desperate you are to get back with him or her, use the next few weeks to work on yourself. Socialise with friends and get out there and meet new people. You may not feel like it but I can guarantee that if you make yourself you will feel so much better. Develop skills that can improve your prospects at work. Take up a new interest and immerse yourself in it. Give yourself a makeover and get a new hairstyle. Take up some sort of exercise such as yoga, or tai chi. These will help your mind as well as tone your body. This can make you look and feel totally different. It will boost your confidence and make you seem more attractive.

I hope this article has helped you decide if you should contact your ex after you broke up. All relationships are different and no two break ups are the same. Take advice from family and friends, but also use your own intuition. If you feel that there is no way back, then move on with your life. If you feel that there is still a spark somewhere that can be rekindled then read my review on a very powerful system that shows you how to text your ex back.

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Category: How To Get Your Ex Back, Relationship Advice

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